


Nostalgia

by tenuous_pteradatyl



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Childhood, Childhood Friends, Childhood Trauma, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Relationships, M/M, Past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-08-05
Packaged: 2018-02-11 21:06:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2083131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenuous_pteradatyl/pseuds/tenuous_pteradatyl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amon gets sentimental while trying to fall asleep one night, and thinks back to his childhood, and when he first met Lieu.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nostalgia

Amon was never one to get sentimental, he had no real reason to, but sometimes late at night as he lay next to the lieutenant, who was always either snoring or muttering in his sleep he would think back to the early days, the day he met Lieu. He was younger then, still a teenager, and he had just run away from home with nothing but the clothes on his back, and the knowledge that he would never return.

He didn’t feel guilty, even when he heard the pitiful cries of his brother, yelling for him to come back, and he certainly didn’t feel any qualms about leaving behind that excuse for a father. He could build a new life, free from the oppression of his father, and free from bending. That was all the motivation he needed as he ran across the tundra, his heart feeling as though it was ready to burst from his chest, and limbs freezing from the biting winds, and the cold.

As he lay there in the dark of his room he could still vividly remember how cold he had been, he instinctively pulled the blankets over his chest as if the arctic wind could reach out to him from his memory. He had ran harder than he ever had then, he ran until he couldn’t move anymore, and finally he had collapsed face down in the snow the last bit of his consciousness slipping away. It was at this moment that he looked over to his companion, sprawled out on the bed, his arms thrust out in opposite directions his legs tangled in the sheets, mustache curled around his nose. He smiled slightly behind his mask; if it weren’t for Lieu and his family he would’ve perished that awful day.

Lieu had been a healer then, or at least the apprentice of one, his father Rei to be exact, he came to find out later that his family came from a long line of healers, each more talented than the last. They had been traveling to the Northern Water Tribe to meet with some friends when they had found him lifeless, and almost frozen in the snow. He had no idea how long he stayed unconscious but the first thing he remembered seeing was Lieu’s face eyeing him from above.

Lieu was younger then, only 15 but he was just as interested in helping others then, as he was now, and Amon couldn’t help but think fondly on their first encounter. “Ah good you’re awake”, Lieu said with a small smile “I was beginning to think you’d never wake up”.

“How long have I been out?”, he asked trying to get up but being gently pushed back down “2 weeks” Lieu said as he dipped a washcloth in a small bowl of warm water, and laid it on his forehead.

“2 weeks, huh?” he said closing his eyes slightly, the warmth of the cloth felt nice, the last thing he remembered was the freezing cold, he had always liked the cold but after his last encounter with such freezing temperatures he thought some time in the Fire Nation wouldn’t be so bad.

Lieu had just stared at him for a moment before saying “Yeah, my parents and I found you out in the snow, you were pretty bad off”, he said as he pulled out a small wooden box, the design ornate from what he could tell, Lieu pulled out a few bandages and a small bottle of salve and laid them next to his head. Lieu took his foot, still a little sore from his run through the ice and began removing the bandages.

Amon remembered admiring the way he had tended to his wounds, efficiently, and quick, but with tenderness and almost loving care, it reminded him briefly of his mother, he wondered how she was doing, if she was missing him at that very moment. He had pushed aside those feelings of guilt, they would only slow him down, distract him from his goals, but what goals did he really have?

As he was having this near existential crisis Lieu had already begun wrapping his arm, he looked over to see his face, which he can only imagine was pensive in the face of this predicament “Hey, what’s wrong?” he had asked him and he had merely shaken his head and replied “Nothing…I just wanted to say thanks for taking care of my wounds”.

Lieu had shaken his head in return “It was my Mom and Dad who did all the real work, I’m just on bandage-changing duty,” he said as he spread salve on his cheek. “Oh well thanks anyway uh….” He glanced over at him before getting an answer “Lieu”, he said pulling out a few more bandages “What about you?”, he asked and even then he had felt panicky. He felt like he would be outing himself as Yakone’s son if he told him his real name so as the first of a long string of lies he answered “Amon…my name’s Amon”.

Lieu didn’t question it he just said “Nice to meet you”, and had continued tending to his leg, he remembered watching him absent-mindedly as he wondered where that name came from and then he remembered. He had read it in a book somewhere, a book his mother had bought for him cataloging a large collection of spirits. Amon was the spirit of cleansing, the spirit of change, and for some reason he had always been enamored with that spirit but he could never truly figure out why. He and Lieu were only in the house alone for a few more hours before Lieu’s parents had returned, he had greeted them tersely, ate without a word, stumbled back to his bed, and fell asleep soon after. In hindsight he supposed he should’ve been a bit more cordial but at the time he was confused and was desperately trying to figure out his next move.

 

He had woken up from a nightmare, Yakone had found him and had managed to blood bend him back home only to see Tarrlok, and his mother lying motionless, their blood staining the floor. Those kind of night terrors no longer plagued him but back then when he had just run away he would often dream of Yakone making his way to Lieu’s house to try to drag him back home, to make sure he was the one to exact his revenge on the Avatar and reclaim Republic City. In the days that followed while he stayed at Lieu’s family home he would often wake to Lieu’s hands, much stronger than they appeared, shaking him awake. It was embarrassing then, it would just be mortifying now.

But at this point he was alone in the house, he remembered limping into the kitchen and sitting down at the table, there was a hastily written note there explaining that Lieu’s parents had gone into town and Lieu himself was out in the garden tending to the herbs and plants. When he finally decided to hobble outside he saw Lieu watering a large patch of white flowering plants, when he noticed him standing in the doorway “Morning!” he said loudly as he continued his duties.

“Good morning” he said as he sat down on a nearby bench cradling his arm “I’ll be with you in a minute I just got to finish watering these guys over here, and then I can change your bandages” he said as he stepped over to a cluster of very large plants that towered over his head, he watched him for a few moments and then his thoughts began to wander.

At the time he didn’t really know what he wanted to do with himself, he was essentially lost with nowhere to go, no one to turn to, and no money to his name. He was beginning to feel as helpless as those animals he had manipulated only a few short weeks ago.

The thought sickened him for a moment, he couldn’t believe his father had driven him and Tarrlok to such extremes, his brother may have been weak for refusing the greater good and not coming with him but he was right about one thing, blood bending was cruel, inhuman, and he would never do it again. Lieu had been watching him this whole time, his look concerned, his eyebrows furrowed as he sat next to him and asked, “What’s wrong?” he looked at him then, his eyes slightly wider than he would’ve liked. “Just thinking about my father”, he said his tone harsh and obviously Lieu noticed it because he gave him a sidelong glance before saying “Don’t like him much, do you?” he shook his head his eyes narrowed “I hate him” he answered and Lieu looked slightly taken aback at the fervor with which he had uttered it but he nodded anyway.

“Is that why you were out in the snow that night? Because of something he did?” he asked surveying the garden “Yeah” he answered and Lieu’s eyes narrowed.

“What did he do to you that made you hate him so much?” he asked, he didn’t look like he was expecting an answer and in that moment he hadn’t intended to answer him but something in his mind clicked then, and he knew he couldn’t possibly tell him the truth. Yakone’s reputation still preceded him even after all these years if anyone knew he was the spawn of that wretched man he was sure to be ostracized.

So that was when the lying began, even now as he lay next to Lieu he could feel a lump forming in his throat at the thought of lying to him but at the time he had done it to survive, and Lieu was so willing to believe him that it made it seem easier than it should’ve. “My father has a bad temper, any little thing can set him off” he explained, he spoke slowly trying to get facts straight in his mind in case he had to retell the story later “He kept my mother, brother and I, in line by threatening us with water bending, the rest of us are nonbenders so you can imagine what he could do to us” he said Lieu’s eyes had widened at the implications of his words, which was just what he had wanted, he needed sympathy it was a powerful tool.

He had continued “Whenever any of us did something that displeased him he would use his bending to terrorize us” he glanced over to Lieu to see that he looked repulsed at what he was hearing “H-he beat you?” he asked slowly and he nodded in response. Amon could still remember the look of horror on his Lieu’s young face as he looked into his eyes, it reminded him of the same look Tarrlok gave him as he left him there in the snowstorm with his father calling after him.

“We were on a hunting trip” he had remembered saying “ And my brother wasn’t a very good hunter, he failed to bring down a pretty large catch, and my father was furious with him…he was about to bury him in at least 10 feet of snow, that’s when I stepped in, I tried to stop him but his anger turned on me instead, and before I knew it we were fighting, and I lost. Obviously he left me there to freeze” he said, barely believing his own story he looked over to his companion who just looked frozen from the news.

It took him a few long minutes before he spoke again “I’m so sorry” he heard him mumble, he looked over to see Lieu pulling an odd face and he imagined him mentally berating himself for saying something so lame in the face of such a sad story. He merely held up his hand to halt any further apologies “It’s all right…at least I don’t have to put up with it anymore” he said as Lieu shooed away bumble-flies.

“Yeah” Lieu said looking at the clouds passing overhead “He sounds like a real nightmare but you already knew that” he said rubbing the back of his head awkwardly.

“You know” he went on after a moments silence “I always thought it would be kind of cool to be able to bend, there hasn’t been a bender in my family for years but after hearing stories like that, and hearing some of the things people say about the city I can’t help but think it’s not that great. All it does is divide and hurt people most of the time”. He stayed silent but he listened intently to what Lieu had to say, “I mean I know not all benders are bad like that, not every fire bender is an Ozai and not every water bender is a Yakone but-“. He had instantly felt his blood run cold when he heard that name, it had been years since he had terrorized the city but people still remembered him, and obviously were telling their children about him as if he were some kind of boogeyman.

Lieu hadn’t noticed, he had gone on talking about the further injustices of benders and how he thought that maybe some of what he heard were merely rumors and gossip. Meanwhile he was going through an internal crisis, and he suddenly felt the urge to begin running and not stop until he got far enough away where he wouldn’t have to hear about his father ever again. He got up unsteadily and had walked back into the house, Lieu had asked him if he was ok, he had lied again and said that he was, and just wanted some alone time. Lieu had obliged him begrudgingly and had gone back to the plants, he had holed himself up in his room, laid out on the bed staring at the ceiling listening to the sound of running water, and Lieu’s low voice humming tunes he didn’t know. It wasn’t long before he had drifted off into sleep and Lieu was shaking him awake muttering something about dinner and how it was getting ridiculously cold.

In the present Lieu shifted in his sleep, rolling over on his side so that he was facing Amon, he was always a restless sleeper but these days with the revolution being as physically taxing as it was mentally draining he could barely stay in one position for long. Amon ran a hand through his hair, which elicited a very warm yet sleepy smile from Lieu who ended up rolling onto his back again and began his snoring once more. Amon looked over to the clock, just as he suspected it was already past 3 in the morning and yet he couldn’t find it in himself to fall asleep, he knew he would be regretting it in the morning but he had more than one sleepless night since this began, and he had always managed to pull through so he assumed this would be no different.

He continued with his memories, the feeling of warm nostalgia washing over him like a wave, he had stayed with Lieu and his family for a week before he felt that same feeling of wanderlust. This time however he felt a sort of longing, a desire to stay in familiar surroundings with familiar people, with Lieu. It took hold of him, and as much as he wanted to detach himself as easily as he did before he found it difficult.

In the time he had spent with Lieu he had gotten to know him fairly well, and as far as Lieu knew he had found out a lot about him too. Once again he felt that pang of guilt for his lies but he was in too deep now, and he couldn’t afford to betray his trust now, he didn’t want to. In those first days Lieu hadn’t shown much of his true personality, he was the healer’s son taking care of a patient, awkwardly trying to make small talk with someone who had been passed out on a bed for weeks. But as the weeks wore on, and they began to talk more regularly, his personality came shining through. Lieu was a bit of a daredevil, headstrong and to the point, a man of action, and certainly not afraid to speak his mind.

Lieu was a good person, he was honest and oddly compassionate, something that could be attributed to all his years of caring for others, he was passionate, knowledgeable of history and botany, they agreed about the oppression of nonbenders, and he seemed to have a strong affinity for tea. Lieu was his foil, his opposite, and his friend, and as much as he told himself to let go, to distance himself so he could move on with his new life away from the shadow of his father, he found it hard to think of a life without his new friend in it.

That’s why early one summer day as he took the bag, Lieu’s mother had bought him in town last week, and filled it with a few apples and few Yuan Lieu’s father had given him he had to look away as Lieu appeared in the doorway. He had been up early weeding the garden, his gloves were filthy, and his work pants were caked with grass and mud, he glanced at Amon for a brief moment before collapsing to the floor to remove his boots. “So, you’re leaving?” he asked nonchalantly, that’s how it sounded but even after this short amount of time with him, he knew that Lieu was silently seething as he pried his boot off his foot.

“Yeah, I’ve got to go” he said that all too familiar lump taking root in his throat Lieu looked at him “Go where? And to do what?” he asked finally removing both boots and standing so that he was looking him straight in the eyes. He noticed for the first time that he was slightly taller than he was, and suddenly realized that there were probably many things he missed about Lieu, things he never noticed, things he took for granted, and it only made the conversation harder. “I have to go and build a life for myself” he said finally looking right into Lieu’s eyes, the palest shade of blue, “I’m thankful for everything you and your parents have done for me but I can’t keep squatting here, I have to go try to stand on my own two feet” he said simply, and Lieu gave him a strange look before asking “And where are you going to do that?”.

He had been impatient then, impatient and a little annoyed that Lieu was making this even harder on him, and even more annoyed that he really had no clear cut idea of what he was going to do or where he was going to go when he finally did leave. “I don’t know”, he said finally his tone more than a little exasperated as Lieu gave him a bit of a smirk “Yeah that’s what I thought”, he said arms crossed over his chest. “Look my parents don’t care that you’re staying here, they’ve already said you can stay here as long as you want, and it’s been nice having someone to talk to. So why don’t you just stay?” he said, and it was that moment that he wasn’t sure if he wanted to hug or punch this young man in front of him.

He truly wanted to just push Lieu aside and run past him out into the streets of the village, and get far away but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He couldn’t even bring himself to say anything insulting in the hopes that Lieu himself would throw him out. Instead he did something he never thought he would do, and something he never thought would happen again, he was honest. “Lieu…” he said softly, his voice almost a whisper “These past couple of weeks have been great. After everything that’s happened I never thought I could enjoy myself again…I’ve really come to think of you as a friend, a good friend but…” the lump in his throat squeezed so tightly it felt like he could barely breathe.

“What? What is it?” Lieu asked, he looked bewildered by the sudden heartfelt confession but he looked too curious to care. “I feel like if I don’t at least try to make it on my own then I’ll never truly be satisfied with myself, understand?” he said hoping Lieu wouldn’t try to further argue the issue.

“No, that still makes no sense. But If you really have to go then I’m not going to stop you although it’s going to be really boring around here without you” Lieu said crossing his arms again. He had put his hand on Lieu’s shoulder “I’ll be back when I get a place of my own then I’ll have you and your parents over for tea” he said reassuringly. Lieu had given him a quizzical yet hopeful look, and that lump in his throat tightened again. “Is that a deal?” he had asked, and he chuckled as he answered “Yeah it is”.

Lieu smiled slightly “Good because I’m going to hold you to it” he said putting a hand on his own shoulder, and with that he had picked up his bag and walked out the door of Lieu’s house, and as much as he wanted to look back, he couldn’t bring himself to do it for fear that he would lose his never and turn back.


End file.
